Hello you lovely lot. I wrote a Buzzfeed article about my dad- 7 Things I Learned As The Child of an Alcoholic.
Do check it out and tell me what you think. If you’ve been reading my blog for a while you’ll know my dad’s story. Hopefully it helps someone out there. There’s a lot of us kids of alcoholics lurking around.
Filed under: Mental health |
The Secret Life of a Manic Depressive 
Seaneen, thank you for this. So much of what you wrote mirrors my childhood completely, right down to my alcoholic father leaning against our fireplace with a half smile at Christmas as well and wearing a coffee filter as a hat during a silly moment. One of my favorite lines of this is, the repetitive “your dad is drunk” paragraph. It becomes the norm until you start to branch out of your childhood world and realize, wait, this isn’t how most parents are?
He, too, would have a few “dry” days, and I would wonder if this was it, if this was the day we were waiting for. But it never was.
One day in 2012, he went to the hospital due to a seizure, and a month later, he was gone from cancer that had spread throughout his body. I will also never forget leaving to go back to college 2 weeks before he died. Sometimes I feel upset about him missing my graduation 3 months later, my wedding one year later, and everything to come, but then I’m slightly relieved at not having to deal with his shitfaced antics on those days.
Your post resonated so much with me, and I’m sure thousands of others. Thanks for another piece of closure.
This is a beautiful tribute to your Dad, Seaneen. I can relate to all that you’ve written.
Really very touching and insightful. Thanks for taking the time to share so honestly. My stepdad was an alcoholic and it was hard being a witness to this, but in no way as hard as you had it. Im sorry you lost him too. Hugs x
I just saw this on Buzzfeed. I didn’t start crying until a minute after I read it. Thank you for writing this. My mom, who is still alive (sort of ish) is an alcoholic and my dad, who died in 2003, was a drug addict. I feel like your post applied so heavily to my relationship with both of them. Thank you, again. Great writing.
I just read this on buzzfeed and found it really moving. I, too have an Irish alcoholic father and he is still in the worst of it. It’s hard sometimes to remember that this is something that he can’t control and I blame him far too easily. I worry that he will eventually kill himself because of his drinking and am always worrying that he’s somewhere getting hammered and putting himself in danger.
I also have never made the connection between dad’s drinking and me finding it hard to stop drinking once I’ve started, but that really hit home reading your piece. I identified with a lot of the things you said about being around people who are drunk and the tarnished memories and shame attached to having an alcoholic for a parent. Also with the not being believed and doubting yourself. I remember once having a few too many drinks when I was in Uni and crying to my new friends that my dad was a drunk. We disnt speak about it for nearly three years and I am sure that if I was crying that my dad was ill with something else it would have been a lot less awkward and they would have just talked to me about it. It’s hard for people to understand when they haven’t experienced it and so to read something that I identify with so much was very moving and eye opening.
So I just wanted to say thankyou for writing something that has opened my eyes and moved me in a way that nothing I’ve read on the topic before has. I’m very sorry that you went through this and for your loss. X
So true about the strange attitude to alcohol. Thank you for writing – my story with my Dad is nowhere near as bad, and I know it’s been a while but I’m sorry for your loss
X x
This is so touching and I am so deeply moved by your writing. I’m sorry for what you’ve gone through
The 12 steph of Alcoolics Anonymes are for the Alcoolics
The 12 steph of Al-Anon Anonymes are for thé relatives
Good luck
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My mom is a alcoholic and I’m an adult its very difficult! I do not know what I would have done if I was a kid with a alcoholic parent it would have changed the woman I am.
This ….
But I’m not – I’m my father’s daughter. I find it hard to stop once I’ve started. The ease doesn’t come, because it didn’t come from the beer in the first place. So in the past, I have swung from puritan to pisshead – sometimes within the space of an evening.
This is all a little too close to home for me. You utterly hit the nail on the head. My father is 65 and still in grips of alcohol. I go through both feelings of seething anger to a horrible understanding of what he’s going through.
I’m sorry for your loss, and I don’t think anyone can ever say I know how to feel but your article brought a few tears and the feeling that I’m not alone.
Beautiful writing. Thank you.