Discharged from perinatal psychiatry

So much I want to write about! I’m still gathering my thoughts on Bowie but I posted this on Facebook on the day he died (he died?) and it sped around Twitter. It was quite reassuring to know lots of people felt the same way.

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For now, here’s a quick update from MentalLand.

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I was discharged from the perinatal psychiatry team on Monday. Hooray! I got a, “well done on not getting psychosis” talk from the psychiatrist and a “haha but no really” aside that I’d be referred back in any future pregnancies.

But it’s good, it feels like validation that I can mum it alone, like a normal person. The question of whether any of us actually should be doing it alone is another matter.

I didn’t really mention the anxiety stuff to her because I can’t see what they can do to help. There are some times when I’m leaving for work and freeze outside the gate and am hit by the sense that something awful is going to happen. So strong, so vivid and real it is that it feels like a premonition. But I have to just carry on and try not to become too paralyzed by it. I really do, it can’t be drugged or talked away, it just is and that’s that.

I did just want to be left alone by now, too. Life hums by, mentalism is there in the background and it flows and recedes, occasionally tsunamis, and it is what it is. Recently I started fraying a little due to basically not sleeping for a fortnight. Thankfully (what odd thankfuls we have), I got floored by a cold and it gave me the excuse I needed to lie in bed for a few days and sleep.

So now, it’s basically try to stay well for the rest of my life.

6 Responses

  1. And stay well you shall. I claim it for you. Now, you have to claim it.

  2. The strong sense something awful going to happen, oh yes, I empathise. It’s overpowering. Ditto to the ebb and flow and trying to stay well for the rest of your life! You nailed it very concisely.

  3. Stunning post, so much truth god forbid we grieve an artist that has touched us in so many ways! I for one hope you shall stay well. For sure.

    I’ve just started my own blog too. It’s all about books and a chance for us all to read together, take a look at https://darrensharpewrites.wordpress.com and follow if you find it interesting! Many MANY more to come.

  4. I was touched by your post both on Bowie and your post hospital situation keep it up🙂

  5. […] Filed underneath: Mental health The Secret Life of a Manic Depressive […]

  6. i like your article, very inspiring and thank you for your post

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