I have ironically been very depressed lately. A combination of the time of year (I always get depressed around this time), not being able to sort out a prescription (Lamictal) which would probably help this mood because the surgery I am is so bad, shit and disorganised that I cannot muster the energy to talk to them since they haven’t yet acted on the instructions of the psychiatrist for the prescription, and circumstances (exhaustion, conflict and stress playing a massive role). I manage to be fine, but a brave face on sometimes but for the most part, I have been tearful, low and exhausted. This is, as you’d imagine, putting a strain on a) my new marriage and b) university, which I can barely face right now, and I’m back on placement in 3 weeks, but of course have to.
I haven’t updated here as the shame of being a newlywed depressive has almost flattened me. This is not how I should be feeling right now, and I am angry and resentful because of it.
Our wedding was wonderful, as was our party in Belfast last week, and I have a half-written post to finish. I do want to finish it because I want to remember it all, but right now I feel flat and crap. I will, though.
Anyway, that explains the radio silence. I’m sure I will cheer up.
See you soon.
Filed under: Bipolar Disorder