I’m getting married today!


It’s 3.17am and it’s in 12 hours.  I need to wake up early.  I also need to take Seroquel or else I won’t sleep at all and will start scratching from withdrawal.  I hope I don’t sleepwalk through the day.  I hope I wake up and the nightmares I have about not making it (and of Julian Assange living in my dad’s bedroom and talking to my dog) don’t come to fruition.

I am about to have my (yearly) bath.

I have accidentally dyed my neck red.

My family are all in the bedroom and have spent the day gracefully dealing with me being a stressed arsehold and I am on my 25th cigarette.

But this time tomorrow, I will be married to the love of my life, in a lovely hotel room and probably pished as fuck.


But I want to say, now, when I am not pished, when I am nervous but not stressed….


for your support, encouragement in my recovery, loveliness, your stories, for reading and for sharing, for putting up with my wanky wedding posts (on here and on Facebook) and, through this blog, actual friendships (there are 48 people coming to our small wedding, which includes both of our families, and four of them are people I have met through this blog) and actual practical help when I have needed it, even when I haven’t asked for it.

I feel like I’m entering a new era.  A married era.  What will change? I have no idea, but I never thought I’d get far enough to find out.  To be happy and stable and comfortable enough to confidently accept love, to confidently give it.

But this is not the end.  I will continue living with this, probably for quite a long time, but I feel I can handle it.  And so does he, clearly.

Bloody hell.

Here we go!

15 Responses

  1. Oh Seaneen…all the best wishes in the world. My son died in May from complications caused by mania… he never got to be where you are. It sings of hope that you’ve come so far and are getting to experience this wonderful joy. Savor the moments. And have a happy happy day. ❤

  2. I just got goosebumps, Im so excited for! you have found someone who that is such a treasure has seen you at your worst and loves you unconditionally in spite of it… and probably because of it. That is such a treasure.

  3. Wishing you a fantabulous day!!!

  4. Wishing you a fab day and ever after!

  5. Have a Fantastic day !!!!!!!!


  7. Dying your neck red is just a sign of good luck. HEY I HOPE YOU HAD A BRILLIANT DAY HA HA HA!! 😉 🙂

  8. Hope you had an amazing day!

  9. Hey congratulations! 🙂

  10. Lovely. Don’t you hate it when you dye your neck? It makes me feel silly….

  11. PS: congrats on the wedding! And no, it doesn’t change too much. Not in the first week anyway.

  12. Oh. My goodness. Seaneen, I’m speechless! But… wow, CONGRATULATIONS!!! I haven’t been on any blogs for… ever, and here you are getting married!! It’s such wonderful news, I wish you both a very very happy ever after 🙂 Lot’s of love and smiles x

  13. Congratulations. Have a super lovely day and celebrate.

  14. I hope you had a wonderful wedding, and are enjoying married life. Congratulations!! You deserve it.

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