Warning: May Contain Nuts in Brighton, 10th October at 4pm

To mark World Mental Health Day…


Should you wish to come along! I shall be in my dignity pants once more.

22 Responses

  1. so wish I could get there, any chance of a recording being posted somewhere, some when?

  2. Wish I could come but I’m at the other end of the country. I hope it goes well.

  3. Im a little suspicious of the 4pm start I thought that only children’s birthday parties were held at that time on a Sunday afternoon. Is is to allow time for everyone to get back to the ward in time or their medication?

    • No idea! It’s more likely to due to Company Paradiso’s tiny budget, and the start of the comedy festival.

    • I was being provocative, Having been in the humiliating position of having to line up for medication I would never try to take the piss our of anyone that finds themselves in that unfortunate position. .

  4. hmm, you’re probably right….

  5. Just a rather mean observation. For someone who is struggling with a mental illness you do seem to manage in fact to do so much more than toddle of to your newsagents in your pjs once a week …?? Theatre, photoshoots in magazines, Belfast, access courses, regular blog updates and a possible 3 months around Europe etc. These are not necessarily the actions of a manic depressive. And for those like me for whom simply filling out a basic application form requires an almost inhumane effort I do wonder about your diagnosis. Don’t misinderstand my comments I am genuinly delighted for you. Maybe you are now officially a former manic depressive ….??

    • To clarify, the “photoshoot” was five minutes outside a tube station. The photographer was Jenna’s friend.

      As for the rest- well, yes. But it’s taken me nine years to get to this point. I spent most of that pissing in coke bottles because I couldn’t move or alienating everyone who knows me by mad behaviour. I haven’t worked in three years. I have only done one class of my access course, so I have no idea how it will go. I am doing this course because being ill obliterated my school years, and my employment ones. The application was a total of 600 words and it took me three months to do. My other applications, like DLA, were done by my social worker.

      I am better than I was. And it’s through medication, learning to cope and having a lot of support from a social worker. Isn’t this the plan, to get better? To learn to manage? I had the crisis team two weeks ago so it’s not all roses. And this blog does involve a certain amount of front. But I don’t want to stay desperately ill. And I will do everything I can to avoid going back there.

      As for manic depression- who knows. But many people with it are actually well between episodes, which has never been me. If I become one of those people, I will be happy. I will be glad about it. I won’t apologise for trying to be well just because it means I am somehow less representative of manic depressives everywhere. I don’t particularly want to be representative.

      • And i wish you all the luck in the world. I hope I get better too. (I currently have a bucket next to my bed. Never been able to pee in a coke bottle. It goes everywhere!):)

      • if Seaneen had a physical disability she would have been snapped by the Daily Mail playing golf and labeled a benefit cheat.
        Im not sure that there is a list of activities that people with mental illness should avoid.

  6. @Jacklyn – that is a mean observation in that when being even only a tad hypomanic, bipolars do tend to get much done, I used to do a lot (and make a good living) when I was high but none of those close to me were at all surprised when I was diagnosed – they’d known as long as they’d known me 🙂

    • @warriet. I do not mean to be mean. Having struggled with bipolar for my entire life and done the rounds of meds psych hospitals etc. I am really pleased that seenaan is ‘relatively’ and regularly active. I know all about the wonderful manic phases when so much can get done but my manic phases come on unnannouced and do not normally permit for a lot of forward planning. My bipolar prevents me from being able to predict if I will get dressed Tuesday next week for example. Impossible to commit to future engagements. I know I came across as mean and I apologise. It is that Feeling of desperation that manifested itself into meaness on another matter this latest posting got to me because of the talk of wanting to be a mum. As a mum of 3 I think bipolar is not conducive to parenthood, sadly.

  7. @Jacklyn – what you don’t here about are the plans you make when you are good but on the day you can’t bear to go out. The plans to create and build and write and do good things that start and fade away even though you want to keep. The days when you sit and stare more than walk and do. The times when you crave attention but there is none. The blog entries that you start and your pour your soul that day into but you know no-one will understand if you click Publish so you don’t. The random reminder of something positive you find around which reminds you that you do go up and down, that you cannot always finish and those other moments of clarity where you see starkly just how bad things really are compared to ‘normal’ people. And you don’t hear about the days where the drugs rule you.

    What you see here (I think, I’m not speaking for seaneen) and you would see on my blogs and others are the edited highlights of maybe how we would like our life to be more like. Or maybe how I would like you to see me – and isn’t that like everyone? I certainly do not write what I think and feel on my blog partly because it would be even less interesting but also because I feel vulnerable enough with my mental health and exposing my real thoughts would be to reveal too much.

  8. @mark. There you have described my life. I would be interested to see your blog. Where can I find you ? Ps I too was a highly successful business person until my life came crashing round my ears after one fuck up to many (alcohol related I say) bipolar related said the hospital. I guess I am jealous of seeneen and her sheer determination.

  9. I was a Learning Disability Nurse from 1985 to 2002. I had what some would call a breakdown in 2001 but the roots of what I am now date back to childhood and then 1992 onwards. The world finally blew up into black ink and rainbows in 2003. Alcohol was part of me too. I blog at Romanticrobot but there is almost nothing there about the real me. My bosses and all my colleagues work online and text can never properly convey how I think. This is why I have huge admiration for seaneen who can write so eloquently. I tend to rage, rant, abuse – and then the next day read the post and wonder who wrote it.

    The poster. Next month it should say “We fed the squirrel – we DO have nuts!: 🙂

  10. @Mark. Thanks. Just had a Quick look at you blog. Tecnical. U should write what you really want to write under a pseudonym.

  11. @Jacklyn. thank your your considered reply. My experience of bipolar seems to compromise rather than rapid cycles, fairly long periods in each state i.e. I spend ages and ages clinically depressed then have a burst of sometimes manic energy when I actually get things done, self-medicating with mostly cannabis but sometimes alcohol so as to not be too obviously high although that stopped working as soon as a previous psychiatrist excluded me from effective treatment by writing me off as “dual-diagnosis”.

    If I had the publish courage that Mark writes of I would probably help myself feel better by writing but right at the moment I see any self-expression as being symptomatic of mania – tricky this blogging business! PS not directly relevant but you may smile when I tell you that twice I was breathalysed by a psychiatric nurse in a secure unit and twice I gave a reading of exactly zero – he got quite ratty and did not appreciate being laughed at or heaven forbid wrong to have diagnosed the mildest of hypomania as drunkenness! (I stopped laughing as soon as he offered to inject me with something to calm me down)

    @Mark Than you for your helpful and encouraging comments about blog publication Why don’t you grab “We fed the squirrel – we DO have nuts!” as a working title.

  12. @warriet mark and co. Perhaps we should start a blog on the humorous side of bi polar and mental
    illness in general. One of my classics was on arriving home from a routine drs appointment the secretary
    phoned me to say that I had forgotton something. I searched in my bag for my medical card (I live in France) until the secretary calmly announced that I had forgotten my 3 month Baby who was quietly sleeping in their réception. I laughed so hard that they threatened to section me,.,,,

  13. Best of luck with Sunday hun xxx

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