I Like Robert

I jokingly called Robert a narcissist earlier. His response was, “I’m as narcissistic as any handsome, intelligent, excellent dancer with a body built for sex”.

I like Robert.

It’s all true, of course.

Today has been conducted through a haze of painkillers, which is getting me down somewhat. The only thing I really did was go to Tesco for juice and toilet roll. I spent about five minutes agonising over the decision. “I could get the cheap rolls. They’re only 42p. Or I could treat myself with 3ply posh roll. But that’s nearly £2…”

And that is how interesting my life is.

(I bought the 42p rolls. Despite what the Daily Mail would lead you believe, most people on benefits cannot afford to wipe their arses with 3ply, let alone have a flat screen telly in every room).

I mentioned lamotrogine to my social worker. I have taken it before, but I don’t think I did so with much diligence. As far as I remember, I didn’t have many side effects from it- certainly not the crippling ones I had with Lithium and Depakote. Either way, if I’m going to take medication I just want something that will even me out so I can be discharged and bugger off from the mental health system. That, and this, helps me focus too much on mentalism, when I don’t really want to anymore. I think it’s becoming counterproductive. I find mental health fascinating in general, but it’s not healthy. As long as I’m in the mental health system, I’ll end up writing here because my appointments are too dull to bore the cats with.

Either way, la! I’m okay with continuing without medication, if I can learn to live better. My feeling is that the doctor won’t discuss it anyway, since they are understaffed and overworked, and he doesn’t think I need medication. If only hypomania didn’t turn to rage then depression, I’d be a happy, probably imprisoned, little bunny.

Anyway, back to the subject- I like Robert. He is nice.

Edit: apologies that I keep editing posts and deleting details. I’m feeling uncomfortable here at the moment so prefer to post the minimum of what I’m thinking, if I post at all.

18 Responses

  1. Haha yeah, that’s awesome.

  2. I had the same dilemma yesterday but ended up with Andrex 2 ply for £1. Ah, the glamorous London lifestyle.

  3. Stop showing off about how awesome your boyfriend is😛

  4. Oh god I’m laughing at the toilet rolls… I had to resort to buying 12 ASDA white label ones for £1.29 the other day because I couldn’t afford anything else… I walking up and down the aisle in ASDA going, it’s going to have to be cheap ones because I can’t afford food, let alone toilet rolls with going on another holiday (concert trip, again…) Still I quite like the budget ones, at the end of the days they are only being flushed down the bog!!!

  5. Lamotrigine worked well for me, no side effects really, aside from being really bitter. Hope it works out for you if you decide to start on it!🙂

  6. Either way, if I’m going to take medication I just want something that will even me out so I can be discharged and bugger off from the mental health system. That, and this, helps me focus too much on mentalism, when I don’t really want to anymore. I think it’s becoming counterproductive. I find mental health fascinating in general, but it’s not healthy.

    That’s true. And the benefits system is unhealthy, but necessary.

    And btw I think you made the right “lavatory tissue” decision.

  7. Lamotrigine has worked wonders for me. It took me a while to get up to an effective dose but now my moods are manageable.
    I get occasional mild tremors & I get dehydrated more easily but no major side-effects.
    The main thing is that I don’t get the zombie feeling that comes with quetiapine, risperidone, valproate etc. Also I don’t feel that my creative output or my cognitive functions are affected, which would be a big plus for you, I’m sure.
    Of course that doesn’t mean that it will work for you but it might be worth a try if you do need to go back on medication.

  8. As it happens i use all my DLA on a subscription to the daily mail, which i use to my arse on.

  9. […] Interesting: The Secret Life of a Manic Depressive is considering lamotrigine. I mentioned lamotrogine to my social worker. I have taken it before, but I don’t think I did so […]

  10. Robert is nice to you, because he’s nice, so I like him too, because I like you, because you are also nice, and it’s nice that you like him and he likes you and that it’s all really nice. It’s nice for you.

    And I think I’ve pretty much covered everything with that.

    outwardly x

  11. More expensive rolls are an investment. One uses fewer pieces per trip to the lavatory when the paper is thick and absorbent. TRUPOOFAX.

  12. I think Lamotrigine is definitely worth considering. I don’t really get any side effects from it either and I do find it helps keep things under control, without blunting everything too much.

    I can never believe the cost of loo roll. It’s getting flushed away – why do we spend so much?!

  13. I used to be on lamotragine and also found it low on side effects.

  14. With IBS it is tempting to skimp on the quality of toilet roll, but always foolhardy.

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