When I live my dream, please be there to meet me, let me be the one to understand.

Three years ago today, this happened.  My dad has been gone for three years and I could have used him to talk to so many times.  To infuriate me, challenge me and worry me, like he used to.  

I love you and miss you, daddy, we all do.  Please be proud of me and the rest of your children.  I wouldn’t be who I am without you.  I think of you every single day. 

And sorry that I smoke so much.

13 Responses

  1. Hey
    Sorry for such a sad anniversary, hoping you have support around you. I know its not much but thinking of you and wishing you well. (hugs) x

  2. I’m sorry that it’s such a sad anniversary for you, I hope you’ve got people around you to support you through this time. Good luck and thinkin of you.

  3. Thinking of you!

    x x x x

  4. mmm…I lost my brother a year and a half ago…it stings bad doesn’t it…I can’t imagine it ever getting any easier.

    love to you.

  5. I lost my dad 8 years ago now and it really does get easier with time.
    The departed live on in those whose lives they have helped shape.
    Sending you comforting hugs.

  6. Three years is a long time. The last time the anniversary of my brother’s death rolled around that was three years too. Thinking of you. x

  7. My father died, of old age, 20 years ago. I was so lucky to have had him for all that time. When he died, I had to grow up. (I was 33.) He never met my husband, he never knew I had two miscarriages and a beautiful daughter. He’s still with me. I think he was probably chronically depressed and passed that on to me, but I don’t mind, I loved him and I wish he were still alive. Except he suffered so much at the end (kidney failure, lung cancer) you couldn’t have wanted him to carry on any longer. I am so lucky to have had him as a father, and I reckon you know your dad was great and how lucky you were to have had him as a father and in the end, that’s all that matters. You didn’t want him to carry on suffering that way. He sounds a love.
    Huge hugs.

  8. My thoughts go out to you. I have lost all but one of those I love. It never gets easier, there is just less and less to remind you.

  9. I am sure he’s very proud of you Seaneen… take care x

  10. I echo what Alison said. He would definitely be proud of your blogging and your bravery in speaking about mental illness to try and remove the stigma and make conditions better for people.


  11. Thinking of you Seaneen.

    I agree with Gaina that you’ve done so much to help other people, myself included.

    I’ve told you this before, but I admire you and your incredible bravery so much. Keep going.

    L x

  12. I was searching for a song that could make even a ukulele sound sad.

    I thought of you when hearing this song. The musician who is covering this pink floyd song, recorded the you tube video on the birthday of his father who passed away.

    Don’t mean to make you cry anymore than you probably have – but sometimes the tears are exactly what you need to keep the memories fresh and alive.

  13. I don’t know if it helps, but yr post (the long 1 w/ the song lyrics) about your Dad was beautifully written & made me cry.
    My Mom died a little over a yr ago, lung cancer got her, she’d smoked 4 over 50 yrs, so it wasn’t really that much of a suprise. But it’s still a shock 2 get that phonecall U’ve really bn dreading 4 yrs…. I’m just glad I could get there 2 B w/ her 4 a few days B4 she died.
    I’m actually OK w/ it now, but it was a little rough 4 awhile. At the store where I work I usedta lecture total strangers about the dangers of smoking whenever I had 2 sell them a pack of cigarettes. Sometimes I still lecture, especially 2 young folks. I even got 1 woman 2 quit. I wish I knew a whole lot less about lung cancer than I know now.
    I know wherever my Mom is she’s shaking her head & laffing about what I’m doing now. (C my website listed above 2 C what I’m talking about.) I know she’d say it sounds just like me. I know she’d B pleased that mayB 4 the 1st time in my life I’m happy, content, & (at least when I’m not at work) doing something I always Njoy.
    It sometimes bothers me about all the yrs she & I didn’t C each other, that due 2 my previous career she only saw her grandchildren 2wice in her last 10 yrs. The guilt from that bothers me a lot. & I wish I’d had the chance 2 tell her that everything I am, I owe 2 her — my writing, reading, the music I love, movies — it all started w/ & was Ncouraged by my Mom.
    I don’t know how U can ever fully recover from losing a parent, unless it’s by Bing the best person U can while U’re here. All I know is, every time the sun comes out, I know my Mom’s there, & I tell her Thank U.
    My name is TAD, I live in Port Orchard, Washington, USA, & I had a great day Bcos I didn’t havta go 2 work. Instead I could stay home & find great writing like yours that brot tears 2 my eyes.
    I started reading yr blog a few days back Bcos my 21-yr-old son is manic-depressive & I can’t Cm 2 reach him NEmore. & already yr writing is teaching me things. I look 4ward 2 learning more.
    Take care of yrself, Seaneen. Like others who have commented here, I know yr Father would B proud of U.
    — TAD.

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