Eating well and taking exercise may help, but it is not the answer to everything. Many seem to think it is and it’s annoying.

I get frustrated by the sanctimonious that preach you need to take responsibility for yourself, work hard and you will be saved!

Taking medication doesn’t mean you aren’t taking responsibility for yourself or aren’t working hard enough for a recovery. In some cases taking medication *is* taking responsibility for yourself. It can be a struggle to remain medication compliant (especially when people tell you medication is evil and you shouldn’t take it), but by ensuring you take that medication you are giving yourself the best possible chance of stability.

Sorry rant over.

-C

You are very young and maybe in time your condition will be stable enough to allow you to contemplate a family, but right now, you made the most sensible decision for your current circumstances, so please don’t be too hard on yourself.

You can call Marie Stopes on 0845 300 8090 if you feel you need to talk to someone.

Sending you loving thoughts x.

I am sort of nuts i think. I been looking for a site that i can go to where they can tell me what’s what with my symtoms. i don’t have insurance so that’s kind of off the docket for me. because of our current financial situation we’ve been managing with our meds thru prescription refils n that works out pretty good for me n my husband. But my son was just recently diagnosed with bi polar and now is getting the help he needs. i think i need to know more about his illness and maybe talk to someone about mine who has time to listen to meds ive taken and symptoms. do u kno a place i can go on the web where i can do that. would appreciate the info. thanx, deb.

Liked the photo’s , looked like fun .

Take care now.

I’m a disability rights worker and live in the west midlands but also contribute to a disability arts collective with some friends. What do I do? At the moment I project website at work but haven’t done loads of different stuff from advocacy, to I.T. support to development stuff, I feel like a bit of a jack of all trades. I came across your blog on ouch and like your writing in fact it was the radio play based on the blog that attracted me.
I’ve battled with depression and ocd myself and have had friends and relatives that have experienced mental distress myself. I admire you’re ability to write about it, I love writing but hate writing about myself. It takes a lot to bear your soul. Apart from writing I’m a massive music fan with really ecletic tastes but some of my musical heroes are bob marley, neil young, ani difranco, tupac, macy gray and the verve.

I like films but never keep up with the latest ones I never really have time for the cinema and most new films are overhyped shite anyway. I like classics like good will hunting and leaving las vegas though. I like reading my favourite auhtors are toni morrison and douglas coupland. I generally like being arty though and chilling with mates having a drink.

Hope I didn’t go on too much, keep up the writing its good for the soul x

I had a course of ECT a couple of years ago after about 18 months of severe depression which had failed to respond to a barrage of psychotropic drugs. I signed willingly, I couldn’t give a fuck at the time if they gave me a lobotomy or castrated me, never mind an electric shock.

Anyway, six blasts from the National Grid had no effect on me so they upped the voltages. The 9th one was a humdinger, it injured my back and caused me to lose a large filling. I presume I wasn’t given adequate muscle relaxant. Did I contact “Injury Lawyers For You”… no of course not. At the time I knew I was being punished for being such a pathetic wretch. They gave me a quick session with the physio and then discharged me to lie moribund back at home.

Did it help me?… I think my mood lifted slightly because (or despite) of it. Was my memory affected?… I don’t know because my concentration, attention and memory had been virtually non-existent in the months beforehand. My memory is still very poor. I have something like a nominal dysphasia where I can’t remember names but they do suddenly pop into my head about two days later.

I certainly left a part of me behind but whether that was in the bed I lay in for months or in the brief visits to the ECT suite I don’t know. I don’t know if it really matters that much either. I think my wife and I would have tried anything to lift my mood at that time. Despite two shrinks and a mountain of pills, nothing else had worked. If they’d suggested bilateral amputation I would have probably have given it a go.

I don’t think I’m making much sense here but what I’m trying to say is that I think chronic Bipolar Disorder and 18 months profound depression fucked me up more than a few blasts of ECT. These days the worst time isn’t when I’m up or down, it’s when I’m neither up nor down because that’s when I realise I am far from normal. My normal is no longer normal.

Sorry, I’ve prattled on for ages but that’s it all now.

Best Wishes
mo

i’m becky, btw. rapid cycling bipolar ll. more down than up, i’m still under the impression that my mind is trying to kill me.

I just wanted to say that it rang true with me and the writing style is very reminiscent of my own.

I don’t know what to say exactly. Maybe, um… It’s reassuring to know that I’m not alone in my own depression.

Anyway… Thanks.