I might have been a mum by now.
I think about it every day. And on some of those days, I really regret it.
The past six months have been quite lonely. Ah well, onwards…
Filed under: 2009
On or around the 2nd of December 2009
Posted on November 8, 2009 by Pole to Polar: The Secret Life of a Manic Depressive
Stumble It!
*hugs*
Like all of these things, you’ll never forget but it will get easier with time. xx
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Thinking of you.
Sigh.
Lonely virtual hugs Ms M.
(HUG)
Many positive thoughts in your direction. Take care.
Adding more positive thoughts and virtual hugs here
Thinking of you.
Lola x
I’m sorry, Seaneen. Sending you lots of non-creepy internet-stranger hugs.
If things had been otherwise, you might have regretted it too.
(I’m not sure if this helps.)
Im pleased that you are back at the PC revitalised and ready to meet the challenges of the Christmas season.
Its funny how things work out as when we were younger we never considered having children.It was only when I became ill and our circumstances changed that we decided to start a family-it just seemed right.. Im certain that have made a better job of raising them than we would of done when we were in our twenties and a better job than our respective parents did of raising us(please God).
Socrates said the unexamined life is not worth living.
Yes, regrets are part of the bargain. Sometimes they really hurt and also linger. It’s a darn shame, but that’s what it is to be human.
You’ll have other regrets too, sorry to say. Fortunately, you’ll also have good times, great and small. That, too, is what it means to be human.
I agree with previous postings, it does get easier with time, and the 1st due date/anniversary were definately the hardest for me. I also wasn’t well enough to continue a pregnancy, and I am more trusting of my reasons as time goes on.
Saying that, I stil have those dates locked in the back of my mind, and I do struggle around those times.
Mine would have been 3 years old. That scares the life out of me, so I probably made the right decision.
Hugs
GG
x
I think you should go ahead and be sad and regretful for as long as you need to. Getting ‘over it’ just to please other people (or get them off your back) just means another lump of un-processed emotion added to the stash. Better to feel whatever you’re feeling now, feel it fully and deeply, let it out, write about it for as long as you need to. It’s about you, those feelings.
I had an abortion when I was 19 and never regretted it for a second, because the timing (and the guy) were totally wrong for me. I’ve always thought I made the right decision.
The point is, everybody’s different – if you have regrets, it could be that you’re actually really ready to be a mom. It could be exactly the right time for you in some psychological (or biological, or both) way. Nothing wrong with that. Or, maybe you really wanted that person’s baby. That is a biological thing as much as a mental thing, having to do with a bonding hormone called oxytocin. When we meet the ‘right’ one, it’s as much about being the right biological match as anything. I’ve only encountered that phenomenon once, and it took me two years to get over not being able to have a baby with him. So again, however long it takes you is how long it should take.
I hope that above all you will learn to trust your own instincts, which can be quite a challenge when you’re surrounded by people telling you what to do, what to think, what to feel.
Take whatever time you need.
((HUG)) .
You are very young and maybe in time your condition will be stable enough to allow you to contemplate a family, but right now, you made the most sensible decision for your current circumstances, so please don’t be too hard on yourself.
You can call Marie Stopes on 0845 300 8090 if you feel you need to talk to someone.
Sending you loving thoughts x.