I habitually private/delete posts here that I consider too personal/too whingey/too directionless (on a blog like this, the criteria is rather… loose). So if something you comment on goes missing, it’s not you, it’s me.
I got a few emails with my last into-the-ether post asking if they’d personally pissed me off. No, and no-one ever has ever pissed me off enough for me to delete the post in a hissy fit. So never fear!
So, some moaning to get out of the way:
I haven’t felt like writing in general lately so forgive my sporadicness. It’s been like that for months, so. I’m struggling so stupidly with writing that I keep finding that, when I do, I miss out words, spell things wrong and generally fail to find a flow. I don’t feel like a good writer anymore, and I don’t feel like I have any of worth to say in this blog. I’m so far unsuccessfully trying to boot my arse back into the habit. That I am having such trouble with it has saddened me. Blogs are often a good starting post to clear the blocks but this one, not so much. I keep it deliberately focused on mental health and because I’ve been in a funk- both mentally and “creatively”- I haven’t really felt like writing about it. There aren’t many ways to say it, unless I just post a picture of tumbleweed, like this:
That’s pretty much it. I’m going to start a new, general blog in the hope of helping me regularly write again, and about subjects other than a) mental health and b) myself. I could sit down with a Word document open but unfortunately it never seems to encourage that, “MUST DESTROY THE LOVELY SNOW WITH MY FOOTPRINTS!” feeling that I wish it did. I might go through the comments on this post for inspiration.
I’m not unhappy. I’m just a bit lost.
I’m still muddling through the changes of the past few months. I haven’t felt like publicly talking about any of it. A load of good things have happened too, but I am a screamy-tantrumy-child when it comes to change. I need to think of the future, and I’m…well, yes, a bit lost. Not entirely sure where I’m going in my life in general. Vortexy, confusing. And another reason I haven’t been writing here or in general is Life Stuff- I’m doing the Life Thing, living it, rather than blogging it.
Hope everyone out there is okay. Once again apologies for not keeping up with people and being terrible at replying to e-mails. I haven’t really felt like I’ve much insight to offer for some time now.
It has been a strange and difficult year.
Filed under: Bipolar Disorder
Stumble It!
No worries! i have (and currently) feel the same way. BUT, just so you know- i feel like there is so much good, insightful, inspiring, interesting, etc. writing on this blog that i should be able to continue to be enlightened, encouraged, and inspired for awhile. AND, so, i think you deserve a break! Ride the wave, accept the change, and live for the moment. You rock girl !
Writing specifically, and entirely, about manic depression nearly drove my recovery into the ground. So, if I was going to continue blogging, I had to start blogs where I could write about other stuff.
I suggest you try a photo-blog. You take great shots, you definitely have some fun adventures, try having a blog where the photo is the focus.
This is one of my favourites:
http://michaelamaria.wordpress.com/
It’s that feeling of “insight” that kills me as well. Sometimes I feel like I can’t post to Salted because there’s no “insight” in what I want to write about.
…let me know the new URL when you come up with one.
Regarding a new blog.
Check out posterous. There is very little in the way of extra stuff to deal with. You email the posts and the service figures out formatting and where pictures should go or whatever. Plus it feels more like writing an email than writing a post – I certainly always feel less pressure in writing an email than a blog post.
This blog post helped me out of a writing funk
http://www.kungfugrippe.com/post/169873399/clackity-noise
and some of Merlin’s other stuff is good too.
Lastly listen to Gabriel over me.
Way to go Seaneen
Taking that first step away from the old dead an dreary blah , blah , blah same ole , same ole – crapazolies bipolar dread an deterioration is a good thing . For me It came to the point of there is just so much about it that can be complained and pointed out. It was a bit morbed and frankly I didn’t feel that way all the time . Rather than be frozen in time into the stigma of bipolar hell !. I branched out away from it and created a smattering of variable subjects . Some I may have posted just one page and others I update every once in awhile when ever the urge takes me . It steered me away from the old dread alleviated my writers block of the one subject line . Blooming into a expansion of thoughts and subjects it was refreshing to say the least . All of a sudden I felt alive again free of the dread an dreary . Check out my profile page you’ll see the wide eye expanding variety of subject lines . it is a relief to not be confine by the illusions of specific parameters . Besides as you’ll see my profile page are all linked to each other by the profile insert on every blog so your followers will be able to find you no matter what subject line you are posting on . Soon you’ll find them linking up and of course commenting on your newly generated perspective. Increasingly expanding potential will liven up the mind . After all bipolar individuals are the most creative people in the world .
Cheers
good luck Dirtdog
Enjoy the new blog, but I hope you don’t completely forget about here. Let us know where you have travelled to so we can keep an eye on you there too.
((Hello Seaneen))
I look forward to reading the new blog – it’ll be nice to learn about some other aspects of your personality
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Do you paint or draw? When I don’t feel like doing any photography but need to get something out of my system I switch mediums and paint which usually sorts me out
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Well you know I’m not a good writer, but I always view you as a good writer and if I’m ever tellingpeople about your blog I always comment on how well you write and how much i enjoy reading your blog. Maybe it would be good to start a fresh, might also inspire you and shift “the block” a bit. Not that I know much about writing lol. Loved your last BBC OUCH article. You are still a good writer in my eyes, even when you’re going through a crappy time. There’s a few posts you’ve made here in the last two years I’ve been reading which have made a huge impact on me, especially because you write about things that I relate too, but you’re able to express through words on paper/comp whereas I can’t. And I’ve often read something you’ve wrote and though wow thats exactly what I think or feel etc, but wouldn’t be able to put it so elequently or make a post flow so well. Just look at this comment lol.
Make sure you let me know if you start a new blog hun
Love Helen(a) x x x x
I think another blog is a great idea. I can see how this one might connect your brain directly to the mental illness topic and some very heavy topics in your life.
maybe a blog with photos you take.
I was wondering if you have any baking skills, maybe you could look to obtain them if you don’t and document that journey. Make some cakes and such — ok… now i think i understand why you don’t answer my emails
But if you bake a cake.. i’ll be there.
Why don’t you just change the contents of this blog? or do what i do, go round commenting and trolling on other people’s blogs. Then cutting and pasting the comments (sometimes ) into my blog. Saves a lot of effort.
Lost .. tell me about it!
Im still not covinced that blogging and MD is a good combination as you need time to step back now and again to calm your thoughts.
What about a book on an illness writen from the perspective of the poor sods with the illness.
“This too shall pass, if it doesn’t kill you first.”
Ok that is not exactly how either quote goes.
You helped inspire me to start journaling again and I am determined to keep going even tho I am very depressed at the moment.
I do enjoy your blog even if you feel stuck about what to write. Sometimes I feel that way and now I know that I am not alone.