Being bitchslapped by depression

I swear that my mind conspires against me.  After my little spike of sort-of-mania-but-more-so-agitated-depression,  I’d been mildly depressed, mildly obsessive about the idea of practicising knots, but mildly.   I had a few good days, there.  I wasn’t dancing on the ceiling (oh what a feeling) but I felt alright.  I’ve even been cooking food.  Not really [...]

Being persecuted by the BBC and MI5

What do you think of Five.org.uk?
It’s a website maintained by someone who thinks the BBC and government are trying to kill him and send him insane.  He seems to be suffering from severe delusions of reference and persecution.  He refutes this, either way, it would be impossible for him to get help with these problems; [...]

Having a childhood

I’ve probably said most of this before (have certainly talked about growing up before).  Ah well.
It’s now the general consensus of my family that I was probably born with bipolar disorder.  I’d tend to agree, but it’s difficult to say.  What’s normal for a child?  Aren’t all children singing, dancing, squealing pains in the arse?
In [...]

Shouting at the Conservatives about welfare reform, and blogging’s impact on mental health

Firstly, you can listen to Gianna Kali of Beyond Meds on Madness Radio by going to this link on her blog.  Her interview is mostly about her experiences of psychiatric medication and her experiences in coming off them, and it’s moving and informative.  Gianna and I vary greatly in our opinions about mental illness and [...]

Reading back recent entries…

…this blog has been crap for a while now, hasn’t it?  I think so anyway.  Obviously it’s not incredibly important- for it is a blog- but, y’know.  Still.

Stress

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh.
So much to say, so little motivation to say it.
I’m pulling my hair out over here.  
My sister called me on Friday, and my granny has a lot less time than we thought; she said six weeks was the optimistic guess.  So, yeah.
I’m in the middle of moving house (I have to move next week [...]

A puzzlingly frequent search term…

…(to take a little break from anger and to distract myself from the horrible day ahead of me…)
I pose the question, well, at least four people googling pose the question:
is bipolar sexy?
Well, is it?  
(My opinion on it is basically this).
Really, I can see why someone would Google that.  There are so many sexy, charming [...]

“Oh, you’re young”.

I am! Did you realise I was twenty three? I still have all my teeth, despite bulimia. I’m not senile yet, I can control my bladder, I wear shoes with heels (sparingly) and I have not yet succumbed to the hairstyle that all women eventually seem to favour.

I don’t refer to pets [...]

Granny Molloy

A bit of a shit start to the week.  My sister called my landline yesterday.  I know well enough that that’s the international call of distress.  So I immediately asked her what was wrong.
I wrote this in December:
There was only a sparse smattering of my family there, but it was good nonetheless.  My uncle Brendan [...]

Am I Losing My Mind?

I am struggling a little bit lately; unsurprisingly, the depression has come.  I had a lovely week with Stephen, though.  
The depression is manageable.  Something else is bothering me.
My memory is declining so badly that I am genuinely beginning to worry that there is something wrong with me.    For the past few years I’ve [...]

Harddrive

Unrelated but can anyone recommend an external harddrive, about 500GB and not that expensive?  My computer is on the verge of kicking it and I need to get my stuff on the lifeboat.
Thank you!

Self disgust is self obsession, honey

First of all, understand that I hate talking about, “wah, I’m ugly” stuff.  I really do.  But I’ve done almost nothing but recently so need to rant a bit.
Oh look, a Manic Street Preachers quote!  I have outed myself as someone “intense”.  Really, though, I did that years ago.
I am not reading the madosphere at [...]

Crazy Girls are Great In Bed

http://www.bbc.co.uk/ouch/opinion/crazy_in_love.shtml
It’s about something I almost never write about; mentalism and its effect on your (well, my) sex drive.

Ever heard the expression that crazy girls are great in bed?
Speaking as a crazy girl – I think the polite term for it is: ’suffering from bipolar disorder’, though I prefer ‘crazy girl’ – I can confirm that [...]

That’s 24 in cat years

Thought I’d swiftly pop my head round the door to commemorate the fact that this blog is the grand old age of two today.
This was my first post, but it had been edited long after the 10th of February 2007.  So really, this was my first (public) post.
Some fascinating two year statistics for you…
In the [...]

Completely unneccessary post with added schizophrenia!

I had a CPN appointment yesterday, and I’m seeing the psychiatrist on Friday.  Fingers crossed for a prescription of lovely, floaty, giggly, pun-making Valium.  I can’t believe I resisted seeing him last week (don’t like medication, and arranged psychiatric appointments always make me feel guilty, because I’m taking time from someone who’s really ill, and [...]

The snow, Time to Change and Things Not to Blog About

That’s right, I’m joining the rest of the country to blog about the snow.  The powdery, fine kind that induces a feeling of euphoria in all right thinking people who inhale it- not the other snow that many other manic depressives blog about.
London once again proved itself to be a wuss as [...]