Cheerio for a while, and enjoy the comedy

Another appointment with the CPN today.  I don’t want to go into detail, it’s the same thing every week, an agitated kind of depression and extremely bleak racing thoughts that I try to distract myself from.  I’m still my wry self, but tend to wander off mid sente…  Am still “getting things done”, so to speak.  Tomorrow is my blood test (ironically, I’m terrified of needles, and that fear is worse now.  In hospital, they drew my blood for lithium and did it wrong.  It was extremely painful and left me with huge bruises all up my arm for a week or so.  I was clutching the hand of a mentalist who called everyone her twin) and an ECG up at the hospital. Immense excitement all round, then. I’ve been attempting to eat today as I spent the weekend nibbling bits of parma ham.

MORE FASCINATING NEWS

At the moment, I am beginning to prepare food with great enthuasism, then feeling nauseous looking at it before chucking it in the bin.  I could, of course, save it but I can’t imagine wanting to eat it.  Consequently, I have unintentionally dropped a few pounds in weight.

We’ve been cleaning the flat in preparation for my sister’s arrival on Wednesday.  Naturally, because of this, I shall be quiet for week as it’s extremely rude to write about the state of one’s mental health when your family is visiting! Although I will probably be back on Thursday to type the usual, “It’s my birthday!  Hurrah!” post, even though I will be spending the morning at the vets as Boy Cat has become Man Cat and keeps trying to jump his sister.  His efforts are heroic but fruitless, as Girl Cat keeps swiping at him and mioawing at him to piss off.   The poor thing is wandering around mewling.  I feel for him, as I can imagine what it must be like for a man to walk around with a permanant erection. I am struggling not to push my human morality upon them by being repulsed by Boy Cat’s desire for an incestuous relationship.  He keeps lapsing into a devious, faraway expression, which makes him look like Jason King:

A sinister man, yesterday

I will have to be sociable during the week to entertain Paula, and my big sister Michelle (who is twenty six!  I am turning twenty three but she is still my big sister, as she is the one who scolds me a lot) is coming down for a night from Newcastle on Saturday.  I’ve been semi-reclusive lately and have acquired that mentalist hairdo.

On my birthday evening, I am having dinner with friends at a raucous yellow shed that serves delicious Italian food, then on Saturday we are going to Stay Beautiful, mostly for old time’s sake as I don’t go clubbing anymore.  Hopefully Simon will play “Red Sleeping Beauty” by McCarthy for me, as it is my favourite song of all time next to “Readymades” by the Bonzos, “Falling” by Julee Cruise, “Unchained Melody” by The Righteous Brothers, “Faster” by the Manics, “Flourella” by Mansun, “Stay Together” by Suede, “This Woman’s Work” by Kate Bush… I have a lot of favourite songs.  I’m looking forward to but nervous about the dinner, as always.  My extremely smiley friend who has a habit of lighting women’s cigarettes for them will be back from Bangkok (mistyped as “Bangcock”, marvellous) for a week, so that will be lovely.  (I use brackets a lot, don’t I?  Do you think if I forgot to close a bracket everything I said what sound like an aside?)

We’ve been procrastinating somewhat (I originally typed “someone” there and was tempted to keep it.  How do you procrastinate someone? “Madam, do you have fifteen spare minutes to waste?  I am meant to be doing something relatively important but I cannot be arsed”) by becoming embroiled in Flick Wars.  During this, Rob got  kneed in the bollocks, flicked in the eye and flicked on his forehead which resulted in him smacking his head off the door frame in a move I like to call “The Incapacitator”.  It was hilarious.

Anyway, as is tradition with my short jaunts into the really real world, I shall leave you with some funny comedy to watch in my absence.

From Black Books, Manny and Bernard write a children’s book.

On the subject of Graham Linehan’s ace comedies, Father Ted and his fellow priests get lost in the lingerie section…

You can never go wrong with my beloved Dadaists, the Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band…

The sweet essence of giraffe…

Vivian Stanshall’s week, just proving the fact that he is England’s true eccentric.

From The Day Today, which I thought was a real news show when I caught it on BBC2 at the tender age of nine…

Oh well, if we’re on Chris Morris, I may as well post this too.

Not the Nine O’ Clock News’ Conservative Party Conference, which predicts the future, since the Conservatives will be elected in the next election.

Hello Tony! Hello Control!

Eddie Izzard!

Peter Cook and Dudley Moore…

So…

Goodbye!