Look ma, I’m on TV!

Occasionally, mainstream entertainment tries to tackle the subject of mental disorders. Sometimes, the results are hackneyed and borderline offensive (see Paul Nicholl’s rocking-back-and-forth Joe Wicks of Eastenders, who suffered from schizophrenia), but sometimes telly surprises you.
Two of my favourite depictions of characters with mental disorders are actually in the same show, the [...]

Arf

I deleted the post about deleting posts! Chucklesome.
In summary: I delete irrelevant/off topic posts, I delete posts explicitly and specifically mentioning friends, family (family things not to do with my dad, out of respect, as my family read this blog), the private bits of my relationships with exes and Rob as they did not [...]

Blood test could identify bipolar disorder

Sorry for constant updating but I thought that this was interesting:
http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2008-02/iu-mmi022108.php

Normal mood, normal grief

In Mood News, I have felt like shit all day. Hurrah! It’s nothing serious, just that low-level form of “Grunt” that afflicts us all. So my mood has been “normal, sort of” steady-ish for approaching two weeks, which is excellent for me. I think that the longest I’ve had a “normal” mood [...]

Lunatic

I am fascinated as to how the seasons affect mood. I know somebody with Seasonal Affective Disorder who needs to take antidepressants throughout the cold winter months but who is fine for the rest of the year.
PsychCentral tells us:
Seasonal pattern
This term describes mood disorders that seem to be triggered by a particular season of [...]

Verbal Block

I owe Ouch! one, two, three, many web videos. I keep putting it off but soon they’re going to get pissed off with me. I’m putting a lot of things off right now, I must get my arse back in gear.
I’ve had verbal block; I can write until the cows come home (what [...]

What a glorious thing, waking up in the morning

Vomit comet

I took my first dose of Lamictal. It made me throw up. Proper, hands on toilet puking that said goodbye to my lunch. Now I feel like shite. I look like shite, too, with teary panda eyes and a runny nose.
I just read the site to get some information. I didn’t [...]

Retrospective

This post isn’t really related to this blog, but I’m putting it here anyway. It’s very image heavy so avoid this post if you’re in the neolithic age of dial up.
What were you like when you were a teenager?
I’ve been thinking about the past recently. Old friends, dead friends, dead-to-me friends.
I sometimes forget [...]

My arse is safe

Egads, I am very tired so this will be brief. And I think that somebody is nicking my post.

Whoops

I’ve been giggling for two hours!

Health by numbers

Living in Highbury has its drawbacks. I can hear the Arsenal fans singing in the pub across the street. I’m listening to David Bowie, Suede and Kate Bush to balance out the machismo drifting about. The footballists have annexed all the takeouts and the locals are cowering in terraces with the lights out. [...]

Just Wondering

I’m just thinking about stuff today, mostly Brendan.

Google eyed

Every day I get about four or five hits from my name. It scares me a bit. It’s my own fault for disclosing my real name here, but still, it’s a bit odd and I am a little horrified as to how much personal information about me is available here.  It’s [...]

Success

My Disability Living Allowance appeal was successful!
I’m now on Middle Rate Care and Lower Rate Mobility. This is an extra £40 a week, which I shall use to pay the rest of my rent.
I can’t quite believe that after all this time my benefits are sorted out. The relief of not having to [...]

Giving up giving up

Screw this.  I have Seroquel in my bag.  I don’t care if I gain more weight.  I am sick of itching.  I went out with Rob last night and we kept having to stop in the street so he could scratch my back.
I’ve been having bad dreams, too.  I had a horrible dream about Brendan [...]

Merry Valentine’s Day!

Today, we celebrate being nice to someone for one day of the whole year!  Hurrah!

Control

Oh, I wish I had something witty and amusing for you today. I am in withdrawal hell right now.

90 Day Jane

90 day Jane plans to kill herself in 90 days.

I’m not sure what to think about this. Suicidal thoughts manifest themselves in bizarre ways. I don’t think she’s a good writer, nor do I find her blog insightful but obviously it’s provoked many comments. Many are helpful and pleading, many are the [...]

Depression, forever and ever

Hello chaps. I’ve been quiet in general. Conducting my life very quietly indeed, at home with the horrors and paranoias, the nagging voice, “everyone hates me”, lamenting the friendships I’ve lost because people couldn’t cope, wanting to say, quite ordinarily, that I couldn’t cope either, and I’m sorry that I am myself, and I [...]

Bad week

It’s been quite a bad week or so. You don’t have to read this entry, it’s mostly just me talking to myself.

Think of the children

I thought I’d respond to this comment here, as it might clear up some things for other readers. I also don’t get many comments challenging me, however, I do get a lot of comments and questions that could be answered just by reading this blog a bit.
Jesus Christ.
I can’t believe that you accept obesity [...]

Why I Got Help

On a forum I frequent, somebody has posed the question, “What led to you seeking help?”
The short answer for me is, “They threw me into a mental hospital. I didn’t have much choice”.
But of course, life is more complicated than that.

Withdrawal

Thanks for the mention, The Spectator blog!
I’m itchy. I’m ITCHY!
Since I filled my Zopiclone prescription, I’ve stopped taking the long-loathed Seroquel.
The unwelcome discovery that I am a prescription drug addict has fallen upon me. I’ve been having some quite unusual withdrawal symptoms which are making me look like a meth head. [...]

Depressed

I’m feeling incredibly down at the moment and have no motivation to write whatsoever.  Bear with me.

Mood swings are normal

I am irritated by how analytical I have become regarding my moods.I’ve been encouraged by the various psychiatrists I’ve seen to keep tabs on myself, so that I may identify earlier when a potentially serious episode is arising. They actually suggested keeping a “mood diary” and making charts so that I may clearly see [...]

The Stench

Mania- the holiday from depression- What Mania Feels Like

Some ill-informed souls with depression have chuckled to me, “Well, at least you get mania!”, as if a manic episode is my straw-bagging sand dancing holiday from the awfulness of depression. I’m never sure whether to pull out my collapsible easel and lecture them on what mania is like, or whether to tut moodily [...]

The Weight Gain Survey

One of my readers has just been diagnosed with Type II diabetes after years of medication related weight gain and lithium induced hyperthyroidism.
Medication weight gain is real; drug companies are currently being sued by patients due to the side effect of significant weight gain.  A lot of psychiatric medications have them, specifially antipsychotics and Lithium.  [...]